Are you a travelling mama and/or wife and feeling like a total failure? I’m here to tell you – you’ve got this and to give you some tools to get after it!
So what can you do to make the week flow easier for your family and yourself, ultimately protecting your sanity and well-being?
Plan out your week in advance? Create a vision board that will hold you and your family accountable? The solution is all about what you and your family NEED…so let’s dive into how I came up with solutions that are working for my household!
I don’t know about you, but I often get in my head and develop feelings of overwhelming guilt while on the road. Post-COVID lockdown, when I initially began travelling again for work, there were a number of days where I was majorly struggling both as I prepared to leave and while I was away…nearly every trip. It was awful, to say the least, and I knew I had to find a way to channel my “fierce” through it all.
Needless to say, I love what I do! I love surrounding myself with people, teams and leaders of all levels and I certainly didn’t want to change that piece of it. So what was I to do? That’s when I began taking my own advice and got intentional!
So there I was standing at the Tampa airport, looking at the departure screen, just staring. I had tears running down my face because I had just gotten off of the phone with my kids and hubby and just felt like I was failing them. I had a choice. I could stand there like a crazy lady in the middle of the airport with tears coming down my face and feeling sorry for myself, or I could find the positive, own my thoughts, make a mind shift and get on my way. Obviously, I chose to be fierce!
It was that day, 2 months ago, that I realized I have the power to be a badass leader and make a difference in my life and the lives of others as well. In that same moment, I decided that I was going to make a point to give myself grace. The same grace I would give to anyone else in a similar situation! I would be more intentional with how I was planning my week of travel, away from my family. I would do whatever I could to personally set them up for success, knowing that my best was all I could expect from myself….MY best, NOT perfection! There’s that “grace” I keep referencing.
So, what could I do in order to feel comfortable and confident heading out for the week? Here are my top 5 things that have helped me to feel supportive, impactful and intentional in my personal life, often while being hundreds of miles away.
For starters, I had to really understand what my end goal was here. Was it me simply feeling better about myself, as a Mom, for my hubs? Or, was it about more than that? When I started asking myself these questions, I landed on what I REALLY wanted. This turned out to be me wanting my husband and children to feel 100% supported by me, even while I am on the road. Let me clarify, this was all me, in my own head. They have always been incredibly supportive of my professional career and my husband knows this is what drives and motivates me to be a better version of myself, for our relationship and for my family.
Here’s what I uncovered:
- My husband loves me and want me to be happy, first and foremost.
- My children think it’s totally awesome that I get to travel and interact so many awesome people on a weekly basis.
- My family only truly NEEDS very little to survive and thrive
I came up with food initially. They need to be fed and have water. So, I started doing grocery delivery on Saturday’s and got intentional, by dedicating time each Sunday morning to make meals and freeze them for the week. All my husband or my older children needed to do was pull it out of the freezer, throw it in the oven and voila! Dinner!
Next I thought about my emotional rollercoaster and needs for me to still feel connected to what was taking place in my families life throughout the week. I mean, really feel connected. In case you don’t know this about me, I am totally OBSESSED with my fam.
Lastly, my involvement as a parent with my children’s school and extracurricular activities… I felt like I was failing them. I’d see their friends moms posting all over social about their volunteering, the kids school pics, the games, practices and the list goes on. So what did I do? I allowed myself to feel the feels for a brief moment and then…I stopped going down that rabbit hole (if you know me, you know I visualize a handy dandy stop sign for this) and got intentional on what I could do while I was home. If I can’t offer time throughout the week how could I still make an impact? The solution here began with a lot of trial and error… and man, did I fail at first. I was trying to be supermom. I realized quickly it’s all about quality over quantity.
Thus, I came up with the following solutions:
- Leaving notes throughout the house where I know each one of my family members would see… my son’s baseball bag, my daughter’s stuffies, my husband’s work bench… you get the point. The coolest part about this was the texts, calls and most of all the reciprocation I got from them. I would get notes in my journals, in my suitcase, my make up bag, and the list goes on and on. Seriously, how THOUGHTFUL! I could cry even writing about it (I know, I know…).
- On the weekends, when I was at a soccer or baseball game, I’d leave my phone in the car or at home and dedicate every second engaging and cheering them on. Do you know that my children actually said to me, “Mom you watched the entire game and were never working or on your phone”. If that doesn’t make you crumble and feel like an absolute failure, I’m not sure what will…but I learned from it moving forward and I gave myself grace for what was in the past.
- I set up a call cadence with my kiddos so I would not miss them before bed throughout the week. I set the call cadence not to be incredibly structured and rigid but so I can set the tone and give the person I am with a heads up that I will be stepping out from the meeting, dinner, presentation, etc. At the end of the day, this is important to me and therefore I needed to own this piece and be incredibly intentional on setting expectations and boundaries when on the road.
So mamas and wives out there- keep going… be fierce! Don’t get inside your head and don’t give up on your dreams. Instead, get intentional and break down what it is you feel like you’re missing? Get intentional about how you can make a mind-shift and take care of yourself, your emotions AND your family.
Stay fierce you beautiful ladies – we got this! Xo